Who wants to be a millionaire's confidante?!

Why do people much older and supposedly quite a bit wiser keep wanting to confide in me? I mean honestly, let's face it. We all know that I am crap in a crisis. Not only that but I have never been married so quite why these people want to tell me all the intimate details of their marital issues is beyond me. When I say "intimate", I really do mean, intimate. Frighteningly so, in fact. What on Earth makes them think that I am a suitable person to be listening to all this, I have no idea. Mind you, if ever I were thinking of beginning a career in pornography, I'm sure it would all come in jolly handy. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to divulge this week's little crisis since some of my readers know the people involved... needless to say it has to do with one half of a married couple doing something she definitely shouldn't be doing with someone who is not the other half of the marriage. And I got to hear just about everything she has been doing with him, because she is stupid enough to tell the other half of the marriage who wants his "friends" to know... What a splendid way to spend an evening. Not. People, please! I don't want to know. I am emotionally immature according to my emotional I.Q. test, I can't deal with you - seek professional help!