People say the funniest things.

A full account of my New Year's adventure later, but first, as a belated review of last year; here are some of the most amusing things I heard in 2006. Although I must admit, you probably had to hear them yourself in order to appreciate them.

From the BBC's Doctor Who.

Doctor Who to a flatulent alien in the middle of a sentence in the middle of a rousing speech.

"Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I am saving the world?"

From the BBC's Rome.

Attia of the Juliae to Lucius Varinus and Titus Pullo; soldiers in the middle of a row in the middle of dinner.

"Forgive me. It's my fault for mixing politics and wine, more tench? Dormouse perhaps?"

And lastly, a conversation I am not sure I am supposed to have understood between my friend Kuniko and her mum, Mrs. Okamoto, after going to look at Nara's night view.

Mrs Okamoto "Oh Kuniko, that stinks!"

Kuniko "But I did it outside!"

Mrs Okamoto "Yeah, you brought it into the car inside your pants....!"

I will leave you to imagine.....